Taskforce: A cat, a dog, an owl, a baby skeleton and a 5000 year old rat (Reminded me of the mix-match and mismatched cast of Wizard of Oz).
Task: To free a deadly island from a battalion of demons, monsters and witches.
Underlying message: Inner demons (Fear/Prejudice/Hesitation) are worse than fictional demons. Humans are more destructive than demons. Humans, stop encroaching upon the animal world.
Target audience: Children, I guess. In spite of the demons and devils all over, there is nothing macabre enough. Also, in true Enid Blyton style, *SPOILER none of our five-member team dies. *
Pluses: a} Some deep thoughts:
1. Not showing quietness is difficult. You are required to talk a lot to do that.
2. Love at first sight is an invention of poets. They don’t have the patience for the second sight.
3. You have to lose an emotion to get a perspective.
b} Cute characterizations, albeit a tad clichéd: Cat with attitude, dog with ‘hang-dog’ attitude, wise owl, cute skeleton. Although the Rat may not be what he seems!
c} Bursts of humor– 1. Dog says,’Tell the world I killed 99 demons.’
Cat says, ‘Why 99?’ Dog says modestly, ‘Well, I just don’t want to exaggerate.’
2. Hey, Son of a Bitch, says cat to dog.
3. Witch says,’God has a special affection for owls. He made me serve owls for breakfast.’
Owl goes, ‘I cannot even say “Oh My God now!”.
Need improvement: a} Grammar– There were errors like ‘He clinched his teeth’, he was prepared to die thinking of her beloved’, he was tore into 2 halves like paper, no existence worst than being blanked.’
b} Punctuation marks– Some affirmative statements ended in a question mark, while questions ended in a full stop.
c} Unnecessary tendency to explain sentences, resulting in repetition: For example- ‘Can you please utter it in a language that I find easy to comprehend?’ Dug pleaded Katy to make herself available for easy interpretation.
Overall: Definite seeds of a fertile imagination exist here. The climax hints at a sequel. Need better grammar and sharper editing next time. Good Luck.
Note: I received a print-copy for review by the author. Free of cost.